In yesterday’s post, I revealed a few of the ways in which I thought becoming a parent would change me. I anticipated the obvious, like that a new baby would transform my daily routine and thrust me out of my comfort zone, and that I would instantly become a persistent example of right and wrong to this little being. I predicted that having a child would also influence how I interact with Soldiers and perform as a leader. Turns out, I was only scratching the surface of lessons that parenthood can teach a leader.
Category Archives: Leadership
What Becoming a Parent Taught Me About Leadership (pt. 1)
Almost 3 years ago, I captured some thoughts about how I thought becoming a parent would change me. Of course I knew it would be a “crucible”…a test or trial that causes defining and lasting change…but how would it alter who I was as a military leader? Would I view my role differently? Would I react to deployment orders with less stoicism when I have little ones to leave behind? Would I treat Soldiers differently?
I was sure to get these answers (and plenty more) with the birth of our two daughters. Below are excerpts from what I predicted I’d learn as a new father. In the next post, I’ll elaborate on the myriad of other ways in which having children has changed me as a leader.
7 “Weak” Traits Military Leaders Should Cultivate
This article from the Huffington Post discusses seven traits that history and society has typically labeled as weak but that followers genuinely appreciate in a leader. Consider a few connections to military leadership:
- Empathy. Yes, having empathy is powerful when trying to connect with your team or a partner, but consider that empathy can also help you understand the enemy. What motivates him? What are his concerns? What are his vulnerabilities? “If you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles.” – Sun Tzu
- Optimism. The military doesn’t rely on hope, but optimism isn’t about being hopeful. It’s about having “confidence in a successful outcome.” Who wants to follow a leader who doesn’t have a positive expectation about the mission, the team, or even his own leadership abilities?
- Altruism. Phrased a different way, this trait is the #2 priority in the military – “Mission first, people always.” The volunteer military has clearly recognized that ensuring the welfare of its members has a direct, explicit link to mission performance. Leaders who do not take care of their people do not survive in the military.
- Discernment. This is a crucial, if not decisive trait for military leaders. Discernment, the ability to accurately assess and judge a situation, forms the basis of our decision-making methodology (“See First, Understand First”; “Understand, Visualize, Describe”; Situational Awareness, Situational Understanding; Design). We must be able to assess conditions based on relevant factors and be able to discard extraneous information. This trait applies both in combat and in the day to day leadership process.
Read the rest of the article here.
Questions for Leaders:
- What approach have you taken to assess the effectiveness of your own leadership traits?
- What traits do you encourage in your subordinate leaders? Do they know what they are?
- What other traits are important but rarely get talked about?
3 Traits That Will Get You Fired
When was the last time you saw a military peer get fired from a position? Doesn’t happen too often, right? In the civilian world, the last several years has been characterized by high unemployment and a difficult job market even for new college graduates. In contrast, the military is intentionally difficult to enter, but also hard to be removed from. Why is that?
Several reasons are important:
- The military invests a lot of time/resources in developing specialized skills
- The nature of service is honorable and we give the service member much credit for volunteering to serve
- Service members are not easily replaceable
- The military asks a lot of its service members, so it gives a lot of leeway for marginal behavior
- Service members typically move every 2-5 years, so supervisors can “wait out” bad performance and pass it down the line
As a leader, you have mediocre performers on your team, the ones who fulfill their duty and not much more. They keep the organization running by learning just enough to progress in the military’s “up or out” system. They’re not destructive, they’re just there.
But how do you identify the bad apples, the ones who will have a corrosive, or even dangerous effect on your unit or another unit down the road? What subordinate traits are unacceptable and worth of dismissal?
Be a Smart Ranger! Stop Doing These 7 Things
Do you ever get to Friday and ask yourself, “Why does it feel like I didn’t get anything done this week?” The reality is that you probably didn’t get as much done as you could have. Which, is ok…as long as you’re committed to improving your productivity. (Hint…if you’re not in the mindset to regularly assess your work productivity, you need to start.)
This article from CamMi Pham Medium.com, 7 Things You Need to Stop Doing to be More Productive, Backed by Science, touches several topics that are routine challenges for military leaders:
- Military leaders typically work long hours. Are we overtasked or just inefficient?
- We say YES to ideas that help Soldiers, even if they’re not the unit’s priority.
- The military is full of perfectionists who spend too much time refining products.
- Money and bureaucracy prevent the military from automating many of the procedures that make it inefficient.
Here are the bullets from the article:
- Stop working overtime and increase your productivity
- Don’t say ‘yes’ too often
- Stop doing everything yourself and start letting people help you
- Stop being a perfectionist
- Stop doing repetitive tasks and start automating
- Stop guessing and start backing up your decisions with data
- Stop working, and have do-nothing time
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12 Tips for Effectively Counseling Your Subordinates
Counseling your team is a lot like creating a leader development program…if you overthink it, it’ll never get done. Plenty of leaders groan when we talk about counseling and typically cite any of the following reasons for not getting it done:
- “It takes so much time to counsel everyone each month.”
- “I give plenty of feedback in meetings and other times.”
- “My people already know where they stand.”
- “We have more pressing priorities than counseling. You know we’re deploying, right?”
But most often, leaders don’t counsel because they’re uncomfortable with giving direct feedback. They also have difficulty telling subordinates that they’re doing an average job (it’s the best and the worst performers that are the easiest to give feedback to).
Leaders have to overcome these objections.
Marshall on the Combat Leader
You’ll need to read this General George C. Marshall quote several times to absorb all the lessons hidden within it.
When you are commanding, leading [soldiers] under conditions where physical exhaustion and privations must be ignored, where the lives of [soldiers] may be sacrificed, then, the efficiency of your leadership will depend only to a minor degree on your tactical ability. It will primarily be determined by your character, your reputation, not much for courage—which will be accepted as a matter of course—but by the previous reputation you have established for fairness, for that high-minded patriotic purpose, that quality of unswerving determination to carry through any military task assigned to you.
General George C. Marshall, Speaking to officer candidates in September 1941
Here are a few of the takeaways:
- The “starting line” for leadership in combat is that one must accept, ignore, and discard the physical hardship that accompanies it. Exhaustion is the innate price of participation. Thus, leaders should maintain a physical fitness level that allows them to fulfill their command duties despite fatigue.
- Tactical ability in combat is not as important as character. This is a tough concept to grasp, but it helps to ask, “Which is more dangerous in combat – a lack of tactical ability? or a lack of character?” Marshall seems to indicate that inexperienced commanders can still succeed in combat by making common sense, informed decisions – and that an organization can absorb a leader’s lack of tactical ability. However, a commander lacking character will have more destructive and permanent effects on an organization.
- Courage is the default for a combat leader. Similar to endurance under privation, Marshall says that courage in combat is a given, and expected by Soldiers. Is this concept in line with our view of courage in combat today?
- What does create success for a commander in combat? Marshall says plainly that character is decisive above all else. Character accompanied with perseverance under any conditions, fairness in decision making, and a clear attitude of service to the Nation.
Questions for Leaders
- Does your organization know what traits are assumed and expected of them?
- How prepared is your team to face the physically and mentally exhaustive realities of combat? Have you replicated them in training?
- How does a leader measure/assess the qualities of perseverance, courage, and character that are necessary in combat?
Leader to Follower: “You’re not really important to me.”
Go ahead and admit it – you’re just like me…you check your phone during meetings. But have you ever thought about what you are communicating to your team when you do?
This short post from Psychology Today explains what you’re really saying when you distract yourself in meetings and is a good reminder to set the example for focus, discipline, and common courtesy.
Questions for Leaders:
- Have you published your expectations for behavior during meetings?
- Are your meetings engaging enough to keep people from becoming distracted?
- In what other ways might you be distracted when engaging with your team throughout the day?