Negativity (Habit Series #8) - The Military Leader

Some years ago, as a new company commander, I encountered a junior leader in my command who personified Marshall Goldsmith’s Habit #8 of the “Twenty Habits that Hold You Back From the Top.” Like many of the destructive habits, this one is a learned, not inherited. It can stifle momentum on any team and, paradoxically, it is easy to succumb to as leaders gain more authority and experience. Habit #8 is negativity.

“Is everyone here like this guy?”

The leader I mentioned had an office directly across from mine, so close that I spent my first few days in the job trying to ignore his booming voice as he levied opinions on topic after topic. He was not a young Soldier. In fact, he was a platoon sergeant with about 15 years of Army service who had become cynical and negative along the way. He made sarcastic comments about Soldiers and leaders, decried initiatives from higher headquarters, and resisted the slightest hint of initiative or motivation from others.

In short order, I even noticed that his attitude affected my outlook. I found myself hesitant to express some of the positivity I was feeling at the outset of this new and exciting job. Perhaps most importantly, this leader’s attitude—just one person, across a few interactions—was characterizing my opening impression of the unit I now commanded. “Is this how people talk around here? Is this how they feel?” I hoped not.

My story is just one example of negativity that I have come across in my career. Unfortunately, negative leaders appear in nearly every organization, and I am confident you have a few stories of your own.

“Let me explain why that won’t work…”

Negativity is not simply highlighting the downside of a situation, which can actually be helpful for emotional processing and coping with challenges. In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Marshall Goldsmith says negative people are “constitutionally incapable of saying something positive or complimentary to any of your suggestions. Negativity is their default response.”

Goldsmith adds that a common phrase among negative people, “Let me explain why that won’t work,” is simply “pure, unadulterated negativity under the guise of being helpful.” Someone who phrases their response in this way has already dismissed your input and is not interested in understanding your position or coaching you toward greater insight.

Spotting Negativity

How can you spot a negative person? Some negative leaders stand out, like the sergeant I mentioned. Others are more subtle, and their negative effects may not be obvious.

Look for these signs and behaviors:

“But.” Negative leaders rely on the word but, a contrasting word that reflects their opposing viewpoint. It’s more subtle than saying, “You’re wrong,” but similarly dismissive unless delivered respectfully. “No, but…” conversations are generally unproductive, even caustic. “Yes, and…” conversations, by contrast, are collaborative and engaging.
“Why that won’t work…” Part of negativity is rooted in the desire to be right. Negative people elevate themselves by devaluing others’ contributions. While constructive debate promotes better ideas, negative people make a sport of scuttling good ones, often starting with, “Here’s why that won’t work.”
“We tried that.” Similarly, negative people use history as an anchor, cherry-picking the past to counter present ideas. They are threatened by possibility and progress. They also fail to see that conditions are constantly in flux and that new people, resources, and priorities can create new opportunities.
Interrupting. As I’ve written before, negative people are often interrupters. Their leading assumption is that the other person is wrong, and their impatience or insecurity prompts them to interrupt before a good idea can emerge.
How do they make you feel? Much of the team experience rests on how people feel from moment to moment, in every interaction. A positive person will make you feel uplifted and encouraged. A negative person will leave you deflated. Similarly, a negative person may make you nervous or hesitant to present an idea.

Unfortunately, these phrases and attitudes darken the work environment and spread like cancer, undermining healthy organizational climates. I’ll dive deeper into this in my next post on negativity.

A Warning for Leaders

As a leader, you have the advantage of years of experience and exposure to what works and what doesn’t. You may recognize bad ideas before your team does, sometimes even as they are presenting them. In these moments, it’s crucial to remember that your authority can distort communication with your team.

Your tone and manner of delivery are especially important when giving feedback. Because of your position, team members are more likely to perceive your comments as negative, even if your intent is supportive. There is a fine line between, “The boss shot down my idea in front of everyone,” and, “The boss helped me understand why this isn’t the best time for my project idea.”

Questions for Leaders

What stories do you have about the negative leaders you’ve encountered? Do you share those stories with your current team to teach a lesson?
How do you respond to negativity? Are you tuned in enough to notice it? What is your response?
What attitudes does your organization tolerate? Does negativity survive—or even thrive—where you work?