Tag Archives: Lead by Example

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Leader to Follower: “You’re not really important to me.”

Go ahead and admit it – you’re just like me…you check your phone during meetings. But have you ever thought about what you are communicating to your team when you do?important

This short post from Psychology Today explains what you’re really saying when you distract yourself in meetings and is a good reminder to set the example for focus, discipline, and common courtesy.

Here’s a Tip: I had a battalion commander who decreed, “If your spouse calls during one of our meetings, you have to answer the call.” He set the example when his own wife called and enforced the rule around the room. It sent a clear signal that family is always important.

Questions for Leaders:

  • Have you published your expectations for behavior during meetings?
  • Are your meetings engaging enough to keep people from becoming distracted?
  • In what other ways might you be distracted when engaging with your team throughout the day?

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TED Talk: “Why good leaders make you feel safe”

“In the military, they give medals to people who sacrifice themselves so that others may gain…and in business, we give bonuses to people who are willing to sacrifice others so that we may gain.”

Simon Sinek gives another poignant and enlightening leadership talk at TED. In this March 2014 talk, he describes how the best leaders shape their organization’s culture to develop trust.

“If you had hard times in your family, would you ever consider laying-off one of your children? You would never do it…then why do we consider laying off people inside our organization?”

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“The Energy Comes from You”

We had just departed the aircraft at 500 feet, landed, then assembled at the edge of the drop zone to start a multi-day training evaluation of our skills as an Infantry platoon. It was Fort Bragg, North Carolina in August, so of course the weather was blazing hot and stiflingly humid. This was the first true test of my leadership skills and I was about to receive the best piece of advice of my career.

energy

The platoon was spread out across the woodline and ready to begin the patrol to locate and destroy enemy in the area. I knelt down to verify our map position and give the order to begin the patrol when I felt an overwhelming presence over my right shoulder. My battalion commander, a Lieutenant Colonel with 18 more years of experience than I had and commander of our 750-man unit, had quietly walked up behind me and was watching my every action. When he knelt down next to me, I expected criticism…”What are you waiting for, Lieutenant?”

Instead, he locked eyes with me, leaned in, and said:  “Remember…the energy comes from you.”

The lesson immediately ‘clicked’ with me. This is what he was saying:

  • You are in charge. There should be no doubt in your mind…or anyone else’s…about who is leading this patrol.
  • You set the tone. How you react to each situation will determine how the Soldiers will react. If you bark frenzied instructions, your subordinate leaders will transmit that tension to the Soldiers. But if you remain calm in execution, you’ll infuse confidence in the formation.
  • You provide the organizational momentum. This is about to be a very long exercise with multiple challenging engagements. Fatigue will bring the platoon to a halt unless you motivate the team and set an example of discipline.
  • You are responsible. If the platoon fails, you get the blame; if it succeeds, your Soldiers get the credit.

Then, as if to immediately prove the point, he said, “Now, get after it!”

Questions for Leaders

  • What kind of “energy” does your organization get from you?
  • Do you have the pulse of the team to sense when you need to create momentum?
  • What moments in your career have provided you key lessons?

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Note: the battalion commander I mention has continued to be a mentor throughout my career, providing priceless advice that has had direct positive impact on my career and many others.

He is retiring this year after a very successful career of inspiring and leading Soldiers.

Thanks, “Coach”

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You Are Being Watched – A Lesson in Example

Years ago, as I approached my commissioning as a Second Lieutenant, a mentor was describing Army life to me and said something memorable about example. He pointed out,

“You will pass probably a hundred Soldiers throughout each day…and you’re gonna have to salute each one of them…and it will start to feel routine and unimportant, almost an annoyance. But don’t get sloppy and don’t take it for granted. You won’t remember each one of those Soldiers, but they will remember you. You may be the only officer a Soldier sees that day…the only salute he sees in return. So execute each interaction as if it were the most important of the day.”

Always on Parade

There is clearly the “professional bearing and appearance” side of my mentor’s lesson, the idea that a leader, whether she likes it or not, is on a perpetual stage.  Every moment is an opportunity to represent the organization’s values and telegraph desirable performance standards. Appearance matters. Doing correct push-ups matters. Training to standard matters. And suffering hardship with the team matters.

“Be an example to your men, in your duty and in private life.
Never spare yourself and let your troops see that you don’t in your endurance of fatigue and privation.”
~ German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

“You are always on parade.”
~ General George S. Patton, Jr.

Another aspect is that leaders influence followers in ways that are less-direct and more personal. Just as you have chosen what talents you like about your leaders, your followers get to choose what traits they will model after you. Each person views your leadership from a different perspective and a different set of needs. Some are looking for perseverance during busy times. Others are disgruntled and need the passion reignited. Some need a good lesson in humility. Still others will bend their parenting behavior to model your character traits.

Bottom Line

You don’t get to decide which lessons people take from your example or when they decide to learn from your behavior. You’re always “on” and you will likely never discover the true impact of your leadership. This is both the burden and the blessing of leadership…make it count.

“The most important thing I learned is that soldiers watch what their leaders do.  You can give them classes and lecture them forever, but it is your personal example they will follow.”
~  General Colin Powell

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“Start by Making Your Bed” – Speech by ADM McRaven to the University of Texas

As the commander of US Special Operations Command, Admiral William McRaven has led some of the most complex and decisive missions ever conducted by the US Military, but in this speech to the University of Texas graduating class of 2014, he relays the simple lessons that leaders should never forget.

Excerpts:

“If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.”

“If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.”

“If you want to change the world get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward.”

“You will fail. You will likely fail often. It will be painful. It will be discouraging. At times it will test you to your very core.”

“If you want to change the world, you must be your very best in the darkest moment.”

Published on The University of Texas’ Official Publication, The Alalde, by Tim Taliaferro.

HTTP://ALCALDE.TEXASEXES.ORG/2014/05/MCRAVEN-TO-GRADS-TO-CHANGE-THE-WORLD-START-BY-MAKING-YOUR-BED/

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Tragedy and Readiness

Fort Hood's Lesson

Last week’s shooting at Fort Hood was a sad, unnecessary tragedy that no community should have to live through. And until the fabric of our society grows past this trend in violence, we will have to continue to prepare for such events. When these tragedies do occur, how the involved leaders respond can determine how damaging the events become, as well as how the public reacts to them.

tragedyUnpredictability will be a hallmark, it seems, as will national media attention. This means is that the small-town sheriff, or the unknown hospital supervisor, or the base’s commanding general could progress from ‘business as usual’ to ‘nationally-televised responsibility’ in a matter of hours.

Put another way…the most challenging event in a leader’s life could be just around the corner.

Even though Fort Hood’s commanding general is no stranger to summoning peak performance at critical moments…he didn’t start April 2, 2014 thinking he’d be mitigating a terrible crisis with an audience of millions. What does this example show?

Leaders must live in the mindset that their talents will be put to the test in some unimaginable, untested way…caused by an event that is alarmingly unpredictable. Leaders will have to show staunchness in seeing the tragedy through, while at the same time empathizing and consoling their organization. They’ll have to find a surge of energy at the end of an already-long day, and then continue that pace for weeks. Which means they will have had to live a life of readiness, having developed both the talents and the physical/mental capacity to endure the test.

Questions for Leaders:

  • What tragedies could appear on your organization’s horizon?… Financial loss? New competitor? Loss of a key team member?
  • Do you have a system for preparing for crises? Does your organization think about and prepare for worst-case scenarios?
  • When tragedy strikes, will your organization look to you for guidance, inspiration, and support? What type of leadership does it respond to?

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Wisdom from Two Distant Professions

“The most important thing I learned is that soldiers watch what their leaders do. You can give them classes and lecture them forever, but it is your personal example they will follow.” 
– General Colin Powell

“Who you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Post by The Military Leader.